Some of you may be aware I was involved in Sam Dunn’s TV series Metal Evolution, which charted heavy metal’s 40 year history on a genre-by-genre basis. Sadly, while widely-acclaimed, the series stopped short of its final episode, which was to depict extreme metal – from death and grind to black metal – but they couldn’t find a network willing to bankroll something that would inevitably be so controversial. This is particulaly galling, as in many eyes, this cuting-edge is the most important aspect of the genre today. So Sam has set up an IndieGoGo campaign in the hope that he might raise funding from the show’s many dedicated fans…

On a personal level, I’d love to see this aborted final episode. Not least in the hope Sam might interview yours truly again, allowing me to repeat on screen some of the rather unkind things I am wont to say about certain Scandinavian metal musicians. We could have black metal’s answer to The Innocence of Muslims! If you don’t want to fund a fine metal documentary, think of it as financing a sorry squad of black metal bell-ends to stalk me mercilessly to the ends of the earth. Or until their mothers call them home for dinner. Or they get caught up in the badger cull…